So.

My title on this page says, “I’m just a child, living in a world of adults, teaching them all to play.” I have recently determined I’ve lost a good deal of my playfulness. Daily stress coupled with new responsibilities makes it hard to truly enjoy life. So now I need to work on being one of those adults.

I need to learn how to manage my life, my household, and my finances. I’m not just a college kid anymore. I’m a grown-up, married woman. I have responsibilities I’m not prepared to deal with. As I told Rial last night, “If I want the perfect house, perfect body, perfect garden… I have to do it myself.” If I don’t do dishes, there’s not on to do it for me. Rial helps, sure, he did almost all of the dishes yesterday, but that’s not typical. And I can’t blame him for that. He grew up in a household with parents to do the major chores, laundry, and housework. I grew up as an only child in a single-parent household where if I wanted to get out of something I could. Now I’m the wife and I can’t. And I don’t need to.

I want the perfect house…perfect body…perfect garden… but at this point, perfection is impossible. I have to fight the idea of perfection because perfection right now is impossible. I have to just try as hard as I can and be content with what I am able to accomplish. I have for a while subscribed to FlyLady and believe her methods to be fail proof. It’s a bit difficult for me because I have an irregular schedule with school and all, but I know I can do it. I can have a beautiful house and a beautiful garden. I need to grow up and stop complaining that it’s too hot outside or I don’t like bugs. If those are the excuses I’m using I don’t really want the house and garden.

Random thoughts…

I’m going to go work on my goals list for this week. If I can just set and keep 3 goals for myself this week I think I will be happy. I’ll create a separate post for goals.